Lettuce of the Damned

So, you know how sometimes if you get a salad from a fast food type of place the lettuce may not be the freshest and if gives you tummy problems? Well, I know this feeling intimately as I eat a lot of salads. I had this situation happen to me yesterday when I opted for lettuce instead of spinach on my sandwich from Subway. To a normal person, this would not be a topic of note, but as I am weirdly paranoid about food, every time this happens I am CONVINCED that I have just contracted the Ecoli virus. Then, I usually get the Ecoli virus confused with Ebola, and am constantly checking to make sure my eyeballs aren't bleeding. This then leads to flash backs to 28 Days Later, and I'm pretty sure that the Ebola/Ecoli that is running rampant through my system is the rare mutant form that will kill me in my sleep and by tomorrow I'll be the walking dead slowly shuffling around looking for some "Braaaaaaiiins"... Since I'm here writing this entry, I think it can be safely assumed that I'm fine and will not be attempting to snack on any of my fellow employees today. Whew.